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soccerguy_46

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soccerguy_46

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soccerguy_46's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

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soccerguy_46's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31496) - you deserved it (7382)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (4491)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36583) - you deserved it (2282)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42110) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38766) - you deserved it (3360)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41852) - you deserved it (5177)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46300) - you deserved it (3793)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (3192)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50312) - you deserved it (9700)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46194) - you deserved it (4286)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41491) - you deserved it (5682)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43109) - you deserved it (4163)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20159) - you deserved it (49358)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49328) - you deserved it (4856)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35295) - you deserved it (4996)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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