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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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soccerbug6

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soccerbug6
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 292
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

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soccerbug6's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365 (428)

I agree, your life sucks (4907) - you deserved it (66448)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (37315) - you deserved it (7185)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (6082)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (22864) - you deserved it (19828)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (39594) - you deserved it (5647)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (4712) - you deserved it (36908)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (3172) - you deserved it (43960)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

#8519480 (475)

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (1945)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (23256) - you deserved it (4736)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

#6937151 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (6292)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by MessyMal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (7807)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

#6594028 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (6904) - you deserved it (19852)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML

#6169373 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (2692)

On 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Xero_316 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66547) - you deserved it (9417)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at soccer camp and was hit in the face with a ball. I walked to the nurse and asked for a napkin or tissues to help stop the bleeding. The only thing she could come up with? A tampon. I spent 20 minutes with a tampon shoved up my nostril in front of my laughing teammates. FML

#5804485 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (18151) - you deserved it (2247)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)