snufflelump

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Offline (the 05/19/2016 at 5:43am)

snufflelump

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1339
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About snufflelump : hey there! I'm ari.

I love music, guitar, animals, pizza, ice cream, working out, football, soccer, family, friends, and laughing.. in no particular order. :) Feel free to say hello!

snufflelump's page activity

Visits<b>caaguilar</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:30pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:23am<b>tarushi</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 3:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:25pm<b>insainpyro</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 10:30pm<b>zsaddayz</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 2:48pm<b>micgelleya</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 1:01am<b>lameuser</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 1:07pm<b>underscoreguy</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 6:12pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 2:14pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:49pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 7:07pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 2:08pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 6:35pm<b>captainObviously</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 6:19pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 1:21am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 10:35pm<b>sarahLoves</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 11:56pm

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snufflelump's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

by llaurenmariee / 08/04/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

by clayton / 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

by Itstrickyyxx / 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

by Dreamer / 07/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

by pissed off / 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm / Animals

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 6:04pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Holidays

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

by Vitriol / 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm / France / Love

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

by Sola / 05/11/2011 at 12:10am / Geek

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy