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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39629) - you deserved it (20242)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (5206)
On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9492) - you deserved it (25310)
On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (32362)
On 08/24/2010 at 12:21am - love - by perfectlybrokenx - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML
I agree, your life sucks (26604) - you deserved it (9127)
On 08/22/2010 at 12:27am - money - by coffee - United States (Florida)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36712) - you deserved it (10619)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (2825)
On 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by superconfused16 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to give blood for the first time. When I sat down the guy said "First time?" I told him yes and he replied "Me too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (2433)
On 08/19/2010 at 8:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26376) - you deserved it (3177)
On 08/19/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by ktin - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47763) - you deserved it (2973)
On 08/19/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by divorced - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (4684)
On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)
Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20588) - you deserved it (8839)
On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29271) - you deserved it (2991)
On 08/18/2010 at 6:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5773) - you deserved it (38945)
On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9666) - you deserved it (15548)
On 07/30/2010 at 7:40pm - love - by nitroman64 (man) - United States (Colorado)
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