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snowman2684

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snowman2684
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2144
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213687) - you deserved it (73281)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

#54872
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40326) - you deserved it (4202)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (44494)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (62157)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML

#18530
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15900) - you deserved it (34723)

On 02/09/2009 at 8:50pm - misc - by Ab (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML

#10643
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39837) - you deserved it (1778)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by CB4 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56863) - you deserved it (20109)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (5534)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

#6669
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (6783)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

#6607
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (3454)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by Escape! (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

#6481
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41203) - you deserved it (3018)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by BRELLA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

#5431
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50834) - you deserved it (8812)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

#5350
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13630) - you deserved it (59055)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46628) - you deserved it (6385)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

#2777
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15782) - you deserved it (18829)

On 01/27/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Texas)



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