Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sniperkit

Search for a member

sniperkit
  • Town/Country : Neverland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1588
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About sniperkit : You've been trolled, you've been trolled, you have probably been told, "Don't reply to this guy, he is just getting a rise out of you!" Yes, it's true -- you respond and that's his cue to start trouble on the double as he strokes his manly stubble. You've been trolled, you've been trolled, you should probably just fold when the only winning move is not to play. And yet you keep on trying, mindlessly replying. You've been trolled, you've been trolled, have a nice day!

sniperkit's last visitors

cyrusdunzguineagirlblakelastovicaJazzy9999swick25KimmieHappyKatOhthatsnasty

sniperkit's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of sniperkit's badges

sniperkit's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (4926)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (5197)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (5253)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18379) - you deserved it (4072)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

#19237807
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7139) - you deserved it (17344)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by wtf - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39068) - you deserved it (3206)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

#18757985
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7667) - you deserved it (14497)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:48pm - health - by owwwwwe - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (7423)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15403) - you deserved it (50610)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

#18548047
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (5940)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (1790)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: