Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About sniperkit : You've been trolled, you've been trolled, you have probably been told, "Don't reply to this guy, he is just getting a rise out of you!" Yes, it's true -- you respond and that's his cue to start trouble on the double as he strokes his manly stubble. You've been trolled, you've been trolled, you should probably just fold when the only winning move is not to play. And yet you keep on trying, mindlessly replying. You've been trolled, you've been trolled, have a nice day!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML
Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML
Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML
Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Saturday 1 March 2014