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sneeze_watch's FML badges
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs
by forkmylife / 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by wtfiswrongwithher / 05/07/2011 at 9:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML
by parkingisawesome / 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by torny>horny / 04/10/2011 at 12:42am / United States / Love
by Sid / 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2011 at 8:53am / United States (New York) / Health
by blahhlovely_30 / 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by notacatperson / 03/01/2011 at 5:41am / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals
Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 3:34am / Lebanon / Health
by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 2:03am / United States / Transportation
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
by lisa / 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…