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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (6376)
On 08/27/2010 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by gleefan116 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (3205)
On 07/28/2010 at 1:48am - love - by Happy 20th! - United States
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year old I had to deal with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19881) - you deserved it (9207)
Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (7192)
On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13548) - you deserved it (52563)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13060) - you deserved it (18032)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (2770)
On 07/22/2010 at 11:10am - misc - by Elliot (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6543) - you deserved it (27111)
On 06/28/2010 at 4:35pm - misc - by WelcomeWagon - United States
Today, it's my Nana's birthday and to say she is having a good time is an understatement. She's so drunk, she took out her false teeth tried to put them in her dog's mouth. When she failed, she tried the cat's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (2923)
On 06/13/2010 at 10:36am - misc - by Cat (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (1736)
On 04/07/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by A. Person - Mexico (Sonora)
Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16158) - you deserved it (2288)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (1573)
On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6369) - you deserved it (23001)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)
Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25110) - you deserved it (1695)
On 03/03/2010 at 12:37am - misc - by holycrap (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2946) - you deserved it (43951)
On 02/10/2010 at 1:39am - animals - by AUDONEE (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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