sneeze_watch

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Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 5:00pm)

sneeze_watch

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 June 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4751
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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sneeze_watch's page activity

Visits<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:15pm<b>dnavarrette</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:16am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:00am<b>codytallica</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:28pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:34am<b>SouthernPride95</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 12:48am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:25pm<b>ares99</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:22pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:25pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:08am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:38pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:05pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:01pm

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:25am

sneeze_watch's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sneeze_watch's badges

sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs

Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML

by forkmylife / 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

by wtfiswrongwithher / 05/07/2011 at 9:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

by parkingisawesome / 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

by torny>horny / 04/10/2011 at 12:42am / United States / Love

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

by Sid / 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

by ravenskater / 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm / Kids

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2011 at 8:53am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

by blahhlovely_30 / 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

by notacatperson / 03/01/2011 at 5:41am / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Animals

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 3:34am / Lebanon / Health

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 2:03am / United States / Transportation

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

by lisa / 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Love