Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

sneeze_watch

Search for a member

sneeze_watch
  • Town/Country : filthadelphia, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 June 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1844
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sneeze_watch's last visitors

smitty3Gshelton09Vanillanougatvicspanksthehamcrackmore278hotwheels19karlcolt45kingofswedesTempest151ParadoxicalPeamartinez121797

sneeze_watch's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of sneeze_watch's badges

sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that for the past 4 years my mother has been slipping meat into my food because she thinks my vegetarianism is a "stupid hippie fad." FML

#13985375
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22629) - you deserved it (14732)

On 11/26/2010 at 9:17am - misc - by veggieweggie (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13145) - you deserved it (2075)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (2288)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (7942)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I called my parents to wish them a happy 28th anniversary. Now my mom's mad at my dad for forgetting, and my dad's mad at me for reminding her. FML

#13485648
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21906) - you deserved it (2507)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by JustCantWin - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24299) - you deserved it (6983)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (3044)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to get over my childhood phobia of syringes by donating blood. The phlebotomist hadn't even touched the needle before I started sobbing hysterically. They made me leave. FML

#13219092
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14704) - you deserved it (8853)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

#12959590
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (2520)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Nothingonyou - Sent from mobile version

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

#12867561
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9043) - you deserved it (14619)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by hatesgravity (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was chosen out of 64 women to model for the catalog of a new clothing store. Just when my self-confidence took a dramatic boost, I looked at the evaluation sheet. I was picked due to attributes such as my "extra large figure and average face" to make below average women feel beautiful. FML

#12805582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20224) - you deserved it (2936)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14957) - you deserved it (19149)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14957) - you deserved it (19149)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9294) - you deserved it (18161)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML

#12782161
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/28/2010 at 1:49am - intimacy - by JessykaB - United States



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by