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sneeze_watch
  • Town/Country : filthadelphia, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2526
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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sneeze_watch's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

#16793164
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46190) - you deserved it (3247)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

#16787044
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33896) - you deserved it (2377)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Googled myself. I found my mugshot and a blog my mom had written about how much of a problem child I am. FML

#16785194
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (19164)

On 06/21/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by badgirl (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

#16781129
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (7286)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm - health - by Charles (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35054) - you deserved it (11391)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

#16771812
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (2112)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm - love - by minnEmouse (woman) - United States

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36101) - you deserved it (3158)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (4814)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31598) - you deserved it (6536)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

#16745803
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24556) - you deserved it (2698)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm - misc - by sabadaba - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34622) - you deserved it (21686)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML

#16740090
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (4901)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by notastoner (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

#16676970
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (7406)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

#16256468
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (2242)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by blue. -

Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML

#16255885
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by forkmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)



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