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sneeze_watch's FML badges
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs
by Morgan / 06/22/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/22/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Idaho) / Work
Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML
by anonymous / 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by badgirl / 06/21/2011 at 5:41pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML
by Charles / 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
by holdengurl18 / 06/21/2011 at 12:46am / China / Love
by minnEmouse / 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm / United States / Love
by shyshy96679 / 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Me / 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML
by screwedwoman27 / 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm / United States / Kids
Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML
by sabadaba / 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Username / 06/19/2011 at 5:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by notastoner / 06/19/2011 at 2:38am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
by Seriously / 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML
- Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the… Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it.… Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob,…