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sneeze_watch's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs
Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML
by John / 06/30/2011 at 4:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML
by Jenna / 06/29/2011 at 8:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Googleit / 06/29/2011 at 12:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML
by frustrated / 06/29/2011 at 8:59am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Work
by A girl / 06/27/2011 at 3:55am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work
by Unsanitary / 06/26/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids
by ugly / 06/26/2011 at 3:02am / United States / Kids
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by cek4uytp / 06/25/2011 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML
by CallMeJesusFreak / 06/23/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Health
by Katie / 06/23/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation
by Username / 06/23/2011 at 4:17am / United States / Money
by Username / 06/23/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
by arekusa / 06/22/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (New York) / Love
by jordeshting / 06/22/2011 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my teacher announced that a project was due next week. This would've been fine, if we hadn't… Today, I felt like some part of my leg needed to crack, so I was on all fours on my bed moving back… Today, I am so used to driving with my girlfriend in the car, I accidentally called my sister babe.…
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…