sneeze_watch

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 5:00pm)

sneeze_watch

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4961
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

sneeze_watch's page activity

Visits<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 2:02am<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:15pm<b>dnavarrette</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:16am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:00am<b>codytallica</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:28pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:34am<b>SouthernPride95</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 12:48am<b>ares99</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:22pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:25pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:08am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:38pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:05pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:01pm

sneeze_watch's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sneeze_watch's badges

sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

by eatmywords / 07/05/2011 at 3:06am / Singapore / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

by anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 12:32am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

by Bekah / 07/04/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

by monquiqui / 07/04/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

by wastedbaby / 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML

by T-Guy / 07/02/2011 at 11:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML

by fthislyfe / 07/02/2011 at 10:06am / United States (Wyoming) / Love

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

by Anonymouse / 07/02/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

by Amanda / 07/02/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML

by sealpop09 / 06/30/2011 at 10:36am / United States (Colorado) / Work