sneeze_watch

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Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 5:00pm)

sneeze_watch

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5155
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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sneeze_watch's page activity

Visits<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 2:02am<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:15pm<b>dnavarrette</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:16am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:00am<b>codytallica</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:28pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:34am<b>SouthernPride95</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 12:48am<b>ares99</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:22pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:25pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:08am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:38pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:05pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:01pm

sneeze_watch's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sneeze_watch's badges

sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

by Boo / 07/14/2011 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML

by j1hill33 / 07/14/2011 at 1:09am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

by skidoosh / 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

by Ignored / 07/13/2011 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

by sm702 / 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 11:46am / Belgium (Liege) / Health

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

by Username / 07/08/2011 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:06am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous