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sneeze_watch
  • Town/Country : filthadelphia, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2534
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10382) - you deserved it (36168)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

#17889582
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (3695)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by rufusthepenis - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (4424)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46568) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38094) - you deserved it (7301)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34609) - you deserved it (9282)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35733) - you deserved it (3159)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML

#17148663
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (3881)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Fairymyass (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML

#17148653
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20335) - you deserved it (4777)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by twelfinity - United States (California)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (7250)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35162) - you deserved it (3908)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

#17123749
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33256) - you deserved it (5448)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33858) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40592) - you deserved it (8956)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52785) - you deserved it (9115)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)



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