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sneeze_watch's FML badges
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Brony / 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
by rufusthepenis / 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work
by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML
by Fairymyass / 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML
by twelfinity / 07/17/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
by Rejected / 07/16/2011 at 9:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health
by SCREWED / 07/15/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by krissy8799 / 07/15/2011 at 12:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
- Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then… Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give… Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to…