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sneeze_watch

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sneeze_watch
  • Town/Country : filthadelphia, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2521
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (38279)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML

#19753882
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4668) - you deserved it (33546)

On 06/08/2012 at 4:09am - misc - by runner2731 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

#19490295
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20673) - you deserved it (8038)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16465) - you deserved it (28438)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

#19119927
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4581) - you deserved it (25346)

On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

#19061872
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21123) - you deserved it (2740)

On 02/12/2012 at 11:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML

#18812906
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18248) - you deserved it (5832)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:53am - misc - by footbloodfountain - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

#18751726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (2753)

On 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by shades (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

#18523510
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27348) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I caught my husband once again looking at half naked pictures of a friend of mine on Facebook. When I asked why he did it, he said "I was checking to see if they were still there." FML

#18296145
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23237) - you deserved it (4091)

On 11/20/2011 at 6:31am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35201) - you deserved it (4877)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML

#18054599
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (2972)

On 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by fuglyphotographer (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

#18052733
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30937) - you deserved it (3869)

On 10/23/2011 at 8:38am - love - by mrs.nerd - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47661) - you deserved it (3741)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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