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sneeze_watch

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 5:00pm) | Search for a member

sneeze_watch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3024
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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sneeze_watch's page activity

Visits<b>ares99</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:22pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:25pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:34am<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:08am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:38pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:05pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 6:48pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:01pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:47pm<b>cdawg69</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:09pm<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:52am<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:11pm<b>DoctorsDaughter</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 11:21am<b>Travesty42</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 12:58am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 6:00pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:09pm<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 12:54pm

sneeze_watch's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sneeze_watch's badges

sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49059) - you deserved it (5454)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML

#20810453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (8350)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61230) - you deserved it (9116)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41032) - you deserved it (2957)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

#20748170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42749) - you deserved it (3203)

On 06/26/2013 at 10:08am - money - by weneedthatmoneytoliveon (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (4802)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57318) - you deserved it (4093)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50061) - you deserved it (7075)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50510) - you deserved it (10850)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41162) - you deserved it (3733)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (5265)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33184) - you deserved it (5814)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

#20480052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29434) - you deserved it (3188)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30480) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (3832)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -



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