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sneeze_watch

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 5:00pm) | Search for a member

sneeze_watch

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3134
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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sneeze_watch's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:25pm<b>ares99</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:22pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:25pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:08am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:38pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 8:05pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 6:48pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:01pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:47pm<b>cdawg69</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:09pm<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:52am<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:11pm<b>DoctorsDaughter</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 11:21am<b>Travesty42</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 12:58am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 6:00pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:09pm<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 12:54pm

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:25am

sneeze_watch's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sneeze_watch's badges

sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (10127)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39310) - you deserved it (3513)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41423) - you deserved it (12497)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49233) - you deserved it (2667)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44721) - you deserved it (3234)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40245) - you deserved it (11165)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75762) - you deserved it (4226)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45115) - you deserved it (13901)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36026) - you deserved it (5508)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49316) - you deserved it (6215)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48873) - you deserved it (4331)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50365) - you deserved it (4400)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61243) - you deserved it (4176)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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