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sneeze_watch's FML badges
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
sneeze_watch's favorite FMLs
Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML
by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work
by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
by GotMyBitchBack / 09/05/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
by WaltTheFuckDad / 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by rapunzel3416 / 08/30/2013 at 5:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
by Demotivation / 08/23/2013 at 10:12am / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML
by Love stinks / 08/19/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
by that's methed up, darling / 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Love
by really? / 08/13/2013 at 2:58am / United States / Love
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard / 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…