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sneakybabymaker

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sneakybabymaker
  • Town/Country : Gentry, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 November 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 88
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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sneakybabymaker's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16147) - you deserved it (43984)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (4238)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (2482)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (1965)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71951) - you deserved it (8400)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

#20107518
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (1480)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

#20107056
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (5063)

On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19294) - you deserved it (1816)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30230) - you deserved it (2174)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

#20091024
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14440) - you deserved it (5205)

On 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (191891) - you deserved it (9111)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227302) - you deserved it (29242)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



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