Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sneakers9394

Search for a member

sneakers9394

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 418
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sneakers9394's page activity

Visits<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:48pm<b>ArticFlare</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:39am<b>CC666</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 12:44am<b>DeadxTime</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 7:03am<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 1:19pm<b>glitterfarie</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 10:24pm

sneakers9394's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sneakers9394's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37500) - you deserved it (9705)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

#17047649
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (7389)

On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (15595)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (63942)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

#16378001
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (17256)

On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

#16377844
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8308) - you deserved it (47677)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40675) - you deserved it (3306)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

#14550494
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12095) - you deserved it (36499)

On 01/12/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by mad dude -

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (12331)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (8293)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

#13403572
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (5380)

On 10/11/2010 at 5:07am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

#13295050
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (8565)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

#13293908
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (2833)

On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (3919)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97797) - you deserved it (5642)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: