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About snarkytruth : Just your average late night bored reader looking for something to fight insomnia. I usually end up spending more time than I expect on here. I find the replies usually better than the stories.
I love my cats, they love my computer.
I'll read just about anything.
Good advice or witty comments get my vote. Whinny kids are worse than trolls, and I hate trolls👺
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Yesterday, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find wat I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was lyk a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Today... I was sitting in the airport... watching the baggage handler load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it... one bag cummd open and all the clothe spilld out onto the tarmac. The clothe lookd familiar. They were mine. FML
Today... I found out ma upstair neigbor filed a noise complaint against me 4 banging on te ceiling every nigt. Tey conveniently left out te partere tey constantly stomp... sout... an do stuff tat sound like teir dropping brick to te floor every nigt. FML
Today, when I droppd my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I askd his name. My daughter explaind: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See u later, mom!" FML
Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when mah son decided to throw a tantrum asking 4 food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking 4 someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML
Today I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere so I nervously asked a staff member 4 help. She scowled pointed at the shelf directly behind me an told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I Baked A Cake 4 When Mum Cummed Home. I Did Everything I Needed To Do An Put It In The Oven, Set The Timer An Went To Do Some Things Around The House. When Mum Cummed Home, She Asked Y There Was A Uncooked Cake Mix Sitting In The Oven. I Forgot To Turn The Oven On. Real FML
Today my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said ( I dig skinny chicks ) . I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really lyk his shirt . His response? ( Don't let the liberal media brainwash u into thinking it's OK to be fat . ) FML
TODAY, I ACCIDENTALLY ATE A CAT TREAT INSTEAD OF A CINNAMON GLAZED PECAN!! I THOUGHT IT MUST HAVE BEEN BURNT BY THE WAY IT TASTED, SO ATE A FEW MORE BEFORE I FIGURED OUT MAH MISTAKE AND SPAT THEM OUT!! BIG FAT FML
Friday 27 March 2015