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snakeonthesun

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snakeonthesun

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  • Number of visits : 369
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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snakeonthesun's page activity

Visits<b>kylaann</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:28am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 5:31am

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

snakeonthesun's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (9869)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32224) - you deserved it (3573)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

#9157447
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (4324)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36638) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (6943)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57797) - you deserved it (13470)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39682) - you deserved it (8309)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18738) - you deserved it (3085)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

#9092499
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (2556)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:34am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19562) - you deserved it (7917)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (5127)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (2331)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (3089)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (3141)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20538) - you deserved it (2376)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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