snakeonthesun

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snakeonthesun

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 918
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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snakeonthesun's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 8:25am<b>kylaann</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:28am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 5:31am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:25pm

snakeonthesun's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

snakeonthesun's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

by socksoffire / 03/17/2010 at 11:22am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

by hater / 03/16/2010 at 6:55am / Love

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

by shygurl434 / 03/15/2010 at 5:14am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

by Grossed Out / 03/13/2010 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

by captainkevineff / 03/11/2010 at 9:44am / United States / Health

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

by misty_love / 03/10/2010 at 3:09am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

by Al / 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous