Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

smw83

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

smw83

0Fucked!

smw83
  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 300
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

smw83's page activity

Visits<b>BunchieRules</b> - 24 hours ago<b>saphy222</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 4:26pm<b>halcyondaze</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:24pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:03pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:34pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:45am<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:33am<b>QD</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:16pm<b>wolfman29</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:30pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:20pm<b>dntbeadouche</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:11am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:55am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:01pm<b>ayoubi4</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 12:35am<b>JaegerMayCry</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 11:40pm<b>confusedAsFuck</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 2:25pm

smw83's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of smw83's badges

smw83's favorite FMLs

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (3428) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (6715)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (3318)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year old guy. FML

#21386588
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (7402)

On 04/02/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Jordan (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (417) - you deserved it (10325)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

#21371826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (6355)

On 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by parkoursam - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (2957)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32095) - you deserved it (4047)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (4292)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39647) - you deserved it (4448)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48721) - you deserved it (5682)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: