smw83

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smw83

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smw83smw83
  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1055
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About smw83 : My pictures are of the singer Lana Del Rey, not me.

smw83's page activity

Visits<b>brentt2711</b> - 11 hours ago<b>10nachoman10</b> - 15 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 15 hours ago<b>obeykaitlyn</b> - yesterday at 10:43pm<b>Procryon</b> - yesterday at 4:24pm<b>stryder9090</b> - yesterday at 2:38pm<b>Hooorror</b> - yesterday at 1:02pm<b>tin_cup</b> - yesterday at 10:02am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - yesterday at 5:38am<b>alohaui</b> - yesterday at 2:38am<b>kintoki25</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 1:04pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 3:45am<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 1:09am<b>silentnick</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 2:12pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 5:54am<b>Zonja</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 4:00am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 3:41am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 11:17pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 5:18am<b>guy_incognito___</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 11:48am<b>Tannasgh</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 3:51am<b>born_hustla</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 10:50am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 9:19pm<b>Jezterking</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 5:13am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 3:36pm<b>silentnick</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 5:53am<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 11:32pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:06am<b>pred8885</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:11pm

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smw83's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy

Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML

by Rowaelin16 / 08/22/2016 at 10:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, during an important meeting, I forgot the name for West Virginia and described it as, "Virginia a bit to the left". FML

by Torvaltz / 08/07/2016 at 4:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

by Toroka / 07/29/2016 at 2:59pm / Love

Today, my neighbour was singing in the shower so loud that I could understand every word. He was singing "Purple Rain", which wouldn't have been so bad if he only knew a bit more of the lyrics. He has been singing those same two words for half an hour now. FML

by JustShutUp / 07/27/2016 at 2:40pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbour was singing in the shower so loud that I could understand every word. He was singing "Purple Rain", which wouldn't have been so bad if he only knew a bit more of the lyrics. He has been singing those same two words for half an hour now. FML

by JustShutUp / 07/27/2016 at 2:40pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML

by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after giving a potential employee a drug test and instructing her to leave her urine sample in the bathroom, she not only brought it into the office, she spilled it on the front desk. FML

by gross / 07/14/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of her lungs in the shower. FML

by MATTY2512 / 07/13/2016 at 2:13pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I told my friend I'm going vegetarian. He's now calling me "Reek" after the guy from Game of Thrones, because I'm apparently a "dickless loser" now. FML

by Reek / 06/22/2016 at 10:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother once again brought up how I would have done so much better in my Track season if I just smiled while I ran. Apparently, if you just smile, your brain won't know you're in pain. I don't think it works like that, but thanks for the advice mom. FML

by fuckingcool / 06/06/2016 at 12:56am / Health

Today, my husband and I both got smart watches. We were running around, acting like we were in a James Bond movie, having fun. Until our neighbors called the cops on us for hiding in their bushes. FML

by nykkymcallister / 05/18/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML

by foreveryoung / 04/30/2016 at 12:23pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my 7 year old sister poking a dead bird with a stick, causing maggots to start coming out of the bird's sad little body. I was horrified and threw up. She won't stop mocking me for being a "sissy". FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 3:41pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML

by killme.jpeg / 04/17/2016 at 9:04pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous