smw83

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smw83

4Fucked!

smw83smw83
  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 792
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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smw83's page activity

Visits<b>silentnick</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:53pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 8:12pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 4:54pm<b>oldskoolfun</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 9:31am<b>mjd13666</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 8:31am<b>1_Jew</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 2:50am<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 11:20pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 9:02pm<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 6:32pm<b>Raekwon</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:01am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 8:06pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 6:10am<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:57pm<b>LadyLiani</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 5:12pm<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 6:14am<b>draftskink</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:40am<b>Mons</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 7:34pm<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 8:55pm

Fucked!<b>silentnick</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 5:53am<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 11:32pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:06am<b>pred8885</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:11pm

smw83's FML badges

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I like your style

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smw83's favorite FMLs

Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML

by foreveryoung / 04/30/2016 at 12:23pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my 7 year old sister poking a dead bird with a stick, causing maggots to start coming out of the bird's sad little body. I was horrified and threw up. She won't stop mocking me for being a "sissy". FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 3:41pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML

by killme.jpeg / 04/17/2016 at 9:04pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML

Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML

Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

by Imdeadlmaokillme / 03/22/2016 at 4:47pm / United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames) / Intimacy

Today, I missed a phone interview for a job at Telstra because Telstra's phone network was down. FML

by fucktelstra / 03/17/2016 at 7:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Work

Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

by rapunzel3416 / 03/14/2016 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML

by no paedo / 03/11/2016 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work

Today, I was talking to my new boss while on speakerphone. Then, my sister yelled for me, asking me to check whether she had a yeast infection or not. FML

by embarrassed much / 02/26/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using my headset while gaming, and another player couldn't stop laughing at the hilariously high-pitched voice I was putting on. He thought I was mocking the pre-pubescent squeakers on our team. Nope, that's just my natural voice. FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new cat for my birthday. It ate my bird right when we got home, then it ran away. FML

by KornyKid / 02/21/2016 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

by Asian / 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Washington) / Kids