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  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 546
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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smw83's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML


I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (1855)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (2263)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, I decided to take a well-deserved shower. When I let my hair down, twenty six cents fell onto the floor. I have no idea how they got there. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20680) - you deserved it (3834)

On 10/10/2015 at 12:22am - misc - by kissandcontrol01 - United States (California)

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (1805)

On 09/28/2015 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sneezed while my ID photo was being taken. I look like a total moron in it. The photographer refused to retake the photo because I "clearly" faked the sneeze just to be funny. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (1654)

On 09/18/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by allergies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23351) - you deserved it (4401)

On 09/12/2015 at 4:11am - health - by dammit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (2334)

On 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (1970)

On 08/08/2015 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML


I agree, your life sucks (29658) - you deserved it (3439)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (2469)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (4511) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

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Friday 27 November 2015

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