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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 64
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About smurfturd : I love football. And having fun

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smurfturd's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (2487)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML


I agree, your life sucks (38622) - you deserved it (4319)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML


I agree, your life sucks (15563) - you deserved it (42362)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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