About smorkmo : Does anybody else think its messed up you have to be pumped full of mercury laced vaccines to be a lawyer?! I knew there was a reason they're all screwed in the head. Google "Thimerosal"
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smorkmo's favorite FMLs
Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML
by maconda99 / 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
by Lichelle / 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…