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smorkmo

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smorkmo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 March 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 490
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About smorkmo : Does anybody else think its messed up you have to be pumped full of mercury laced vaccines to be a lawyer?! I knew there was a reason they're all screwed in the head. Google "Thimerosal"

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smorkmo's favorite FMLs

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19051) - you deserved it (39564)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18943) - you deserved it (41593)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40755) - you deserved it (26833) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45755) - you deserved it (14575)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (84061)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45347) - you deserved it (122456)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83890) - you deserved it (222218)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7423) - you deserved it (79198)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31990) - you deserved it (141621)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17013) - you deserved it (94848)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

#1775796
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17430) - you deserved it (70729)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:48am - love - by rawkdinosawr (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

#1400081
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8071) - you deserved it (70545)

On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (85263)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (75051)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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