About smk_foo : Hi I'm Kim (:
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Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26181) - you deserved it (8143)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13984) - you deserved it (5878)
On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19387) - you deserved it (4101)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (1909)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15958) - you deserved it (14606)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:47am - love - by Brad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (5240)
On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21617) - you deserved it (3316)
On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9492) - you deserved it (19103)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19955) - you deserved it (1789)
On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5620) - you deserved it (17537) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (1210)
On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5021) - you deserved it (17195)
On 11/25/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Jocelyn - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (9687)
On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (4209)
On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37989) - you deserved it (4980)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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