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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Mobility
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35232) - you deserved it (2632)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (2149)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (2420)
On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57741) - you deserved it (2990)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79371) - you deserved it (4475)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47359) - you deserved it (2375)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (16066)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62805) - you deserved it (4144)
On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70512) - you deserved it (4235)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (4502)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52706) - you deserved it (3095)
On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57830) - you deserved it (8174)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51452) - you deserved it (3369)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19732) - you deserved it (36763)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46780) - you deserved it (4068)
On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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