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smileygirl88

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smileygirl88

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  • Number of visits : 849
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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smileygirl88's favorite FMLs

Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16349) - you deserved it (29974)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50245) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46919) - you deserved it (3515)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40331) - you deserved it (4415)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38894) - you deserved it (3418)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40941) - you deserved it (9494)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50677) - you deserved it (9738)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35636) - you deserved it (2610)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41635) - you deserved it (3100)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42452) - you deserved it (13774)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37652) - you deserved it (8261)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

#21230914
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42202) - you deserved it (9152)

On 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by beaverfever (man) - Poland (Zachodniopomorskie)

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49194) - you deserved it (4080)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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