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smileyave's favorite FMLs
by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML
by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by extra crispy or original recipe / 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
by fed up/turned off / 10/02/2013 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
by no boobies / 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy
by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy
by MikeNick / 12/17/2011 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make… Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I… Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like…