About smeegle : I'm tall and I like coffee.
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smeegle's favorite FMLs
by PizzaNIF / 07/13/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, it's the second day of being in Estonia with my boyfriend and his mom, visiting their family. I don't know much Estonian, but I can say short words and phrases. My boyfriend later informed me I've been mispronouncing "Thank you," and actually saying "Help me." I was wondering why people have been laughing. FML
by avenue24 / 07/06/2016 at 5:08pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML
by Jim / 04/19/2016 at 1:25pm / United States / Kids
Today, like everyday, I got on the train heading back from my university campus in Preston. Usually, it takes 20 minutes. When I sat down, I realised it was a non-stop service to Glasgow and the doors had closed. It took me 7 hours by train and a lift from my best friend at 2 a.m. to get home. FML
by Mintilou / 04/07/2016 at 11:17pm / United Kingdom (Sandwell) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 03/22/2016 at 5:17pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML
by friendless1004 / 11/12/2015 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by coward / 10/03/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, while reading my girlfriend's kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm / United States / Kids
Today, my boss confided in me that when a gay person visits his house, he discreetly follows them around and cleans anything they touched and everywhere they sat with disinfectant wipes. I've worked for him for 7 years but he doesn't know I'm gay. FML
by protoskore / 06/23/2015 at 2:38pm / Israel / Work
Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML
by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by duncan74 / 12/09/2014 at 10:23pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Animals
by hellalegit / 11/07/2014 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML
by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by LarissaT18 / 02/02/2014 at 11:13am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…