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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17737) - you deserved it (31290)
On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46640) - you deserved it (5108)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44863) - you deserved it (1897)
On 06/21/2009 at 8:05am - intimacy - by Steph (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66163) - you deserved it (16286)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70750) - you deserved it (14824)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62337) - you deserved it (4233)
On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (13184)
On 06/04/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by ether10 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55478) - you deserved it (3409)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51138) - you deserved it (3542)
On 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by Jeanine (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (144606) - you deserved it (13076)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64514) - you deserved it (4266)
On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)
Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51126) - you deserved it (2742)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by matt5th35hit (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37710) - you deserved it (12943)
On 05/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by ydahs (woman) - United States (California)
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49696) - you deserved it (15075)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (41859)
On 05/05/2009 at 10:17am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
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