smb12346

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Offline (the 05/15/2016 at 5:53pm)

smb12346

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1053
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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smb12346's page activity

Visits<b>Getty_Lindsey</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:26pm<b>mds9986</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:03am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:09pm<b>Babygirl117</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:07pm<b>o_I_R_DuH_o</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:26pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:24pm<b>OMGITSAKITTY</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Jonny_Blaze0017</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:22pm<b>robotiick7</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:19am<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:53pm<b>atl904</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:04pm<b>ItsMeDiegoG</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 11:37pm<b>SosKrosis</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:01am<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 2:40pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 12:24pm<b>DKjazz</b> - the 07/17/2012 at 1:59pm<b>Sillydeadperson</b> - the 05/16/2012 at 1:56am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 12/07/2011 at 2:26am

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:09pm

smb12346's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of smb12346's badges

smb12346's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2014 at 9:43am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

by todaddy / 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

by randomusername99 / 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

by BeatByA9yrold / 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

by newbffswelcome / 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

by deflower / 01/22/2013 at 3:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm / United States / Love

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy