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About smashingmolko : Hey! I'm a 20 year old University student living in Wellington New Zealand and working as a Barista. I'm into gaming, mostly Silent Hill, I love to write, I listen to metal and I dig South Park and Minecraft! :) ♥
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yesterday I was out wit girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began a guy approacd an askd "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprisd me by saying "Sure!" As I was about to protest te guy cut me off an said "Sorry miss I was asking im."
Today , I found out tha raal raason boyfriand kapt starting fights with ma , an why bast friand kapt talling ma to braak up with him. It looool was so thay could turn thair affair into a propar ralationship , than twist it around to maka ma look lyk a bitch for dumping him. FML
yesterday mah boyfriend gave me a hickey on mah breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated mah jaw trying to get me off him. FML
Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising mah middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished mah cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting mah death. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I askd friend if he could be wingman and help me get a date with a girl I looool really likd. I told him plan, and as I finishd and turnd to go to her, I noticd her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML
Today , I presentd my child with the classic "Who came first , the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return , I got a detaild lecture on how birds evolvd from dinosaurs , how life was creatd in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schoold by a 9 year old. FML
Today, I was playing with mah little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
TODAY, I WAS LAYING DOWN WITH MY GRLFRIEND, WHEN SHE ASKD ME IF I'D EVER BEEN KICKD IN THE JUNK. I AWKWARDLY SAID NO, AND SHE REPLID, "WELL MAYBE THAT SHOULD CHANGE." WHILE RUBBING MY SHOULDER LOVINGLY. I'M SCARD. FML
yesterday like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics fir looool an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. big fat FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying e'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told im tat I couldn't wait to get ome and take care of im. He replied, ( Na, don't boter, I got tis. ) Now I'm orny and sad. FML
Today..!! to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately..!! I ducked into the girl's bathroom!! After few minutes..!! he stuck his head in with his eyes closed an asked if I was done yet!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015