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smartyjenla

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smartyjenla

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  • Number of visits : 530
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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smartyjenla's page activity

Visits<b>misslostnfound</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:18pm

smartyjenla's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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smartyjenla's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML

#19997829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13574) - you deserved it (30724)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:50am - work - by Unwanted - United States (California)

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (17222)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

#19976445
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5027) - you deserved it (41856)

On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19693) - you deserved it (3738)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29940) - you deserved it (3581)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (3081)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (3270)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

#19620507
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25441) - you deserved it (3653)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

#19620507
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25441) - you deserved it (3653)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30667) - you deserved it (1920)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to admit that I hate the wedding dress that I've designed. My wedding is in a week. FML

#19469447
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8060) - you deserved it (25818)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:02pm - misc - by al (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we need to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

#19457923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9751) - you deserved it (33233)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:02pm - misc - by marymark - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (4092)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML

#19017910
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (4434)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:49pm - misc - by joy - United States

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

#18917374
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22644) - you deserved it (3761)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:57pm - work - by StupidNurse (woman) - Germany



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