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smartyjenla

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smartyjenla

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  • Number of visits : 430
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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smartyjenla's page activity

Visits<b>misslostnfound</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 2:58am

smartyjenla's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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smartyjenla's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, whilst waiting tables at work, I served a young couple the milkshakes they had ordered. The woman at the next table verbally abused me for "teasing" her screaming sons with "unhealthy foods". FML

#20745796
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (2409)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54523) - you deserved it (4456)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44092) - you deserved it (4380)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74974) - you deserved it (17036)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

#20740202
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43882) - you deserved it (3196)

On 06/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (63284) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68827) - you deserved it (6551)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

#20738351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45112) - you deserved it (8284)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51187) - you deserved it (7725)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49416) - you deserved it (3664)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (4714)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52973) - you deserved it (8718)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53586) - you deserved it (5151)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)



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