slushpup9696

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slushpup9696

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6397
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.

slushpup9696's page activity

Visits<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 11:52pm<b>stricker30</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 2:11pm<b>drtweed</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 10:12pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:04pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:08am<b>courtly25</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Sansational_</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:02pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 2:54am<b>Kalyr</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:38am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:19am<b>siyca</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:15pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:30pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:33pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:41pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:08pm

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 4:52am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:41pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:52am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:24pm

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slushpup9696's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

by rtrim29 / 12/26/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

by Proof-Reader / 12/15/2009 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

by B-Man / 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

by obsessed / 11/27/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

by smellsofeggs / 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm / United Kingdom (Brent) / Animals

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV / 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML

by Quirk / 10/29/2009 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

by hatelittleboys / 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

by whitedevil / 10/09/2009 at 3:09am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

by shitballs_911 / 10/07/2009 at 7:13am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Miscellaneous