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About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.
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Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them . I made them chocolate-coverd strawberries . But for some reason they gave me really drty looks when they saw it . Turns out his mother is looool allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate . FML
Today, I wanted to punish a student 4 being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time 4 him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. real FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposd to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decidd to chuck it at face. FML
Today, my husband discoverd that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turnd to me an whisperd 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moand. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today , I came home from vacation to discover that one of mah friends had broken into mah house , painted mah room a hideous color , ruined mah hardwood floors with the paint , and left huge mess for me to clean. When I confronted her about it , she called me ungrateful. Everyone I know agrees with her. FML
Today, I was walking down te street an spotted a man wo was about 6 an a alf feet tall passing by me. As e passed me, I turned an asked im "How's te weater up tere?" He ten turned around, spat on me, an replied "Raining." FML
Today, ma girlfriend of looool 2 yeres broke up wit me because se said I was more of a woman tan se was. I yelld out, "I HATE YOU!" an startd to cry. Se ten took a tampon out of er purse, andd it to me, laugd, an walkd away. fat FML
TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND WOKE UP WHEEZING TERRIBLY, ACHING, AN SNEEZING. HE'S ALLERGIC TO CATS. I HAVE 2 AN THEY R MY BABIES. HE GAVE ME AN ULTIMATUM, HIM OR THE CATS. I HAVEN'T FIGURD OUT HOW I'M GOING TO TELL HIM THAT I CHOOSE THE CATS.
Friday 27 March 2015