slushpup9696

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slushpup9696

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5546
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.

slushpup9696's page activity

Visits<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:04pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:08am<b>courtly25</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Sansational_</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:02pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 2:54am<b>Kalyr</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:38am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:19am<b>siyca</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:15pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:30pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:33pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:41pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:08pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:40pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 11:26am<b>jmann8811</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:10pm

Fucked!<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:41pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:52am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:24pm

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slushpup9696's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

by screwed / 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 8:09am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

by fail / 12/21/2010 at 4:38am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work

Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML

by fakelaugher / 12/19/2010 at 10:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

by elliekilroy / 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

by fishruinsex / 12/08/2010 at 3:46am / Intimacy

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

by newmother / 12/05/2010 at 8:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 12:13am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 12:13am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous