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slushpup9696

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slushpup9696

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3396
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.

slushpup9696's page activity

Visits<b>Agnesia</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:16pm<b>im_kevin</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:30am<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:58pm<b>zarosian</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 4:35pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 7:45am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:33am<b>jakethegr81</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 12:02pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:27pm<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:08pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm<b>mazinger_Z</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 8:45am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 1:00am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 12:41am<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:03am<b>RadGhost</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:27pm<b>bananagoat</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 2:16pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:01pm<b>Daaaan</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 5:12pm

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slushpup9696's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

#14297992
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38943) - you deserved it (3724)

On 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by screwed (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23697) - you deserved it (12169)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (8693)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

#14282148
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (37780)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by fail (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

#14277072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44512) - you deserved it (3589)

On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada

Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML

#14274889
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (27060)

On 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

#14266887
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13037) - you deserved it (25453)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML

#14265623
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12110) - you deserved it (20573)

On 12/19/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by fakelaugher (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12050) - you deserved it (24686)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

#14128362
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28618) - you deserved it (5321)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66947) - you deserved it (10324)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5518) - you deserved it (58996)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5518) - you deserved it (58996)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (10319)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40429) - you deserved it (5368)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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