About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.
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slushpup9696's favorite FMLs
Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
by dancer101 / 02/04/2011 at 10:01am / United States / Kids
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML
by unknown / 01/24/2011 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Love
by UltraHoe69 / 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm / Isle of Man / Geek
by theatreluver / 01/04/2011 at 10:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by LoveMyNewBro / 01/04/2011 at 5:56am / Intimacy
Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML
by lululee53 / 12/30/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 9:52pm / United States (California) / Money
by Connor / 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…