Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4703
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.

slushpup9696's page activity

Visits<b>Oihana</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 5:45pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 2:00pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:57am<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:24pm<b>DatBacon28</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 10:38am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:12pm<b>zarbof</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:18pm<b>laurenhem</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 9:27am<b>luuuccccyyyy</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:36am<b>kunjac0945</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:16pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:24am<b>FML_ULTRA</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:31pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:22pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 3:42pm<b>mondesno</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 2:31am<b>lolalove24</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:17am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:47pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:52am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:24pm

slushpup9696's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of slushpup9696's badges

slushpup9696's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (7781)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12313) - you deserved it (22243)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/14/2009 at 1:33am - love - by noname - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML


I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (7165)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (10134)

On 12/22/2008 at 6:54am - love - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28918) - you deserved it (8777)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7534) - you deserved it (63447)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (3930)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: