About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.
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Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84185) - you deserved it (2679)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by froyo (man) - United States
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37995) - you deserved it (5894)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53266) - you deserved it (17135)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204639) - you deserved it (40447)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204639) - you deserved it (40447)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37781) - you deserved it (20194)
On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (10495)
On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178212) - you deserved it (61494)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (10710)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Yudansha (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (10710)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Yudansha (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70952) - you deserved it (8745)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36792) - you deserved it (10462)
On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)
Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40691) - you deserved it (6506)
On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (241443)
On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5342) - you deserved it (22398)
On 02/01/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Miko - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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