slushpup9696

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slushpup9696

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5080
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.

slushpup9696's page activity

Visits<b>courtly25</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Sansational_</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:02pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 2:54am<b>Kalyr</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:38am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:19am<b>siyca</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:15pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:30pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:33pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:41pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:08pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:40pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 11:26am<b>jmann8811</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:10pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 5:45pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 2:00pm

Fucked!<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:41pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:52am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:24pm

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slushpup9696's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

by ilikecake / 05/29/2009 at 7:12am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML

by alsayslegit / 05/25/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

by ninjawhat1337 / 05/25/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

by Ames / 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

Today, on the way to an exam I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured and waited for the paramedics. I was too late at school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse and I failed the exam. It was an examination of my first aid skills. FML

by Sam / 05/19/2009 at 5:21am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous

Today, in order to look nice for a date, I tried the new blue mouthwash that turns plaque blue so you know where to brush. I couldn't get all the blue. FML

by Ricky / 05/16/2009 at 5:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

by your_mother / 05/13/2009 at 11:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

by Biggie / 05/12/2009 at 3:49am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 9:53am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

by Christine / 05/09/2009 at 2:08am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy