slushpup9696

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slushpup9696

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5512
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.

slushpup9696's page activity

Visits<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:04pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:08am<b>courtly25</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Sansational_</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:02pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 2:54am<b>Kalyr</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:38am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:19am<b>siyca</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:15pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:30pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:33pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:41pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:08pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:40pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 11:26am<b>jmann8811</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:10pm

Fucked!<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:41pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:52am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:24pm

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slushpup9696's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

by DoesNotLikeCubes / 07/06/2009 at 4:08pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 9:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

by toothfairy / 06/26/2009 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML

by nail714 / 06/25/2009 at 1:02am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

by jerk / 06/24/2009 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

by loli-conned / 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids

Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML

by liz / 06/21/2009 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 3:24am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

by Hackmanjones / 06/13/2009 at 10:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if you're going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML

by graduate / 06/06/2009 at 9:17am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous