About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.
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slushpup9696's favorite FMLs
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation
Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML
by Dana / 05/10/2011 at 4:36am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by BCBUDDY / 05/07/2011 at 11:29am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML
by sad / 05/05/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love
by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by nothanks / 05/01/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
by kindgartin / 04/23/2011 at 5:26am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Baileyy / 03/01/2011 at 6:18pm / United States / Geek
Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health
by Raprotcommander / 02/07/2011 at 10:47am / United States (Georgia) / Health
- Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,…
- Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…