slushpup9696

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slushpup9696

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5136
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About slushpup9696 : No need to get mad at me. I'm just a cat sitting on a newspaper.

slushpup9696's page activity

Visits<b>courtly25</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Sansational_</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:02pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 2:54am<b>Kalyr</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:38am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:19am<b>siyca</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:15pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:30pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:33pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:41pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:08pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:40pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 11:26am<b>jmann8811</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:10pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 5:45pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 2:00pm

Fucked!<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:41pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:52am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:23pm<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:24pm

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slushpup9696's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

by johncabbot25 / 12/23/2011 at 5:53am / Canada / Love

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

by S. Bauer / 11/02/2011 at 9:50am / Portugal / Love

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

by Extended_desktop / 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm / Poland / Intimacy

Today, I paid $5000 for a new fence in my backyard for my dogs. My dog escaped three hours after the contractor finished the fence. FML

by dontfencemein / 07/22/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Money

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2011 at 11:43am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

by Kate / 06/07/2011 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

by Username / 06/07/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

by mongoosemike / 06/07/2011 at 1:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America's Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said "You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions". FML

by sherronj / 06/06/2011 at 11:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2011 at 4:28am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

by art_major / 05/25/2011 at 10:06am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous