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slow_hands

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slow_hands

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  • Number of visits : 1276
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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slow_hands's page activity

Visits<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:17pm

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slow_hands's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (96673)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99085) - you deserved it (22750)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

#1384927
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10037) - you deserved it (49706)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by maddie94 (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92094) - you deserved it (27480)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44490) - you deserved it (19844)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14904) - you deserved it (61933)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5841) - you deserved it (30714)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39388) - you deserved it (21042)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version



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