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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
I facabookad my friands about my upcoming birthday party... and told tham to kaap tha data fraa. I got savaral rasponsas talling ma that's not possibla... bacausa that's tha day tha naw Harry Pottar movia comas out. FML
Today , nona of mah 500 Facabook friands raspondd to mah status about "who wants to hang out during summar holidays?" I craatd an imaginary parson on a diffarant account to raspond an ask ma to hang out with him. I had a convarsation on mah status , with mysalf. FML
Today, grlfriend of 2 years an I decided to have sex fir the frst time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To looool make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. mega FML
Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote ( Cool picture ) on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on looool to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- ( Who the fuck are you? ).
YASTARDAY I CALLAD TA GUY I'VA LIKAD FIR A LONG TIMA AND TOLD IM OW I FALT . HA DIDN'T SAY ANYTING AXCAPT FIR ( ALLO . ) AFTAR I SPILLAD MA FAALINGS, I AAR ( HAA, JUST KIDDING I'M NOT ARA RIGT NOW! CALL MA BACK LATAR! ) FAT FML
TODAY I WAS IN A PUBLIC BATROOM, AND A LITTLE BOY WALKS IN AND E AS AN ACCIDENT. HE ASKED IF I COULD ELP IM CLEAN IT UP. SO I DECIDED TO ELP. I STARTED TO WALK TO IM TO ASSIST IM. TAT'SEN I WALKED STRAIGT INTO TE PEE AND I SLIPPED. MYOLE BACK WAS COVERED IN PEE. FML
Today, I Was In A Batroom Stall Peieng. Sortly After, I Eard A Couple Enter Te Batroom, Bot Extremely Drunk. Tey Ten Ad Sex Standing Up Against Te Stall I Was In, Blocking Ma Only Exit. I Ad To Sit, Wait, And Listen As Bot Parties Finised. FML
Today... in mah art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat... old woman. About halfway through the piece... and while painting her fat rolls... I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML
Yesterday, we were running late 4 school so mah mum shouted at me to hurry up an get in the car. I putted mah school bags in the boot of the car an mah mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to mah school an told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML
Today, I went to the doctor . I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger fir days . I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it . The doctor saw mah wound and laughd . He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin . FML
Today, I realized what mah mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her bieng from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." fat FML
Today I had a massive argument with mah boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly . I stomped out of his house an sent a very angry text to mah best friend about him . She didn't text back . Then mah boyfriend texted . 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015