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slow_hands

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slow_hands

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  • Number of visits : 1230
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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slow_hands's page activity

Visits<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:17pm

slow_hands's FML badges

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slow_hands's favorite FMLs

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39958) - you deserved it (27852)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (74788)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54403) - you deserved it (42477)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83266) - you deserved it (10199)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML

#2182230
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51825) - you deserved it (10939)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:27pm - love - by Invisible (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML

#1986164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47415) - you deserved it (7985)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

#1973147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50575) - you deserved it (5805)

On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

#1968921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44157) - you deserved it (5963)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36145) - you deserved it (4244)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

#1961143
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (7031)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by artclasstrauma (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we were running late for school so my mum shouted at me to hurry up and get in the car. I put my school bags in the boot of the car and my mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to my school and told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML

#1898485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51863) - you deserved it (3613)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:36am - misc - by albert (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

#1840722
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49370) - you deserved it (9113)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Manatee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

#1837844
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91938) - you deserved it (4992)

On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

#1775796
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17380) - you deserved it (70647)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:48am - love - by rawkdinosawr (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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