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slotheroni

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slotheroni

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  • Number of visits : 63
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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slotheroni's FML badges

Judgmental

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slotheroni's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63617) - you deserved it (6424)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53437) - you deserved it (18292)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

#20761555
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52190) - you deserved it (16915)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52746) - you deserved it (3349)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39873) - you deserved it (5490)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53201) - you deserved it (7477)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31808) - you deserved it (4197)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

#4789213
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12328) - you deserved it (42295)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by InTheDoghouse23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14218) - you deserved it (98004)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)



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