slotheroni

Search for a member

slotheroni

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 143
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

slotheroni's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

slotheroni's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

by Dingbat / 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

by TinyDancer22 / 11/25/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

by InTheDoghouse23 / 08/24/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

by kat9232000 / 06/19/2009 at 12:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous