slooby

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Offline (the 06/24/2016 at 6:52am)

slooby

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8417
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About slooby : You don't fool me, Effy Stonem

slooby's page activity

Visits<b>ForeverSushi</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:41am<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:22pm<b>FifaSkiller</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:08pm<b>Aubs3993</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 8:25pm<b>grajax</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:37am<b>DKING123456789</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 9:13am<b>completenonsense</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 5:42pm<b>BrooklynGirl36</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:42pm<b>TheInitiator</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 9:44am<b>RealChewyPiano</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:24am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:39pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 9:41am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 8:20pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Jackimo98</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 9:52pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 10:11pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:46pm<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 5:25pm

Fucked!<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:39pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:22am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:06pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:07am

slooby's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of slooby's badges

slooby's favorite FMLs

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML

by goodbyefriend / 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

by scared to leave the house / 08/20/2012 at 5:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML

by Cottagecheeseha / 08/20/2012 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

by wow, thanks / 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML

by elijah / 08/17/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

by ugh / 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

by brooke / 08/13/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous