slippy327

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Offline (the 09/22/2016 at 6:39am)

slippy327

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3103
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About slippy327 : I am a human being. I am not some kind of evil cat, plotting to rule the world and destroy humanity. Trust me, I am not a cat.

slippy327's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 9:49pm<b>kalibos666</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:35pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:38am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 6:48am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:32pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:19pm<b>zAstonish</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 2:38am<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:30pm<b>CoonAlmighty</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:31pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 6:15am<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:45pm<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:13pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:37pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 8:35pm<b>coldashell</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 8:34pm<b>cheeeksss</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:29am<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:27am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:11am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:32pm

slippy327's FML badges

Inception

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The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of slippy327's badges

slippy327's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2014 at 4:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

by IdiotNursingStudent / 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

by Lexi801 / 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

by emilyparker / 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

by LolKaleb / 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

by guriak / 07/13/2014 at 9:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

by morgan_rumm / 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids