About slippy327 : I am a human being. I am not some kind of evil cat, plotting to rule the world and destroy humanity. Trust me, I am not a cat.
Judgmental
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Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (2071)
On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8459) - you deserved it (25730)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (2908)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (1794)
On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia
Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18915) - you deserved it (1765)
On 02/24/2013 at 4:34am - health - by Caroline - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (2409)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9228) - you deserved it (21554)
On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (2020)
On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (2490)
On 02/06/2013 at 4:05pm - health - by AplJax3 (woman) - United States
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7338) - you deserved it (40932)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22446) - you deserved it (2417)
On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (2450)
On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)
Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (3644)
On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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