About slippy327 : I am a human being. I am not some kind of evil cat, plotting to rule the world and destroy humanity. Trust me, I am not a cat.
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slippy327's favorite FMLs
by inveralaska / 06/16/2016 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was okay, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by joanikens / 03/26/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 8:40am / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 5:30pm / United States / Love
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2015 at 5:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by anon / 12/16/2015 at 10:28am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by MiceMiles / 12/10/2015 at 7:34am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML
by fryebaby623 / 11/13/2015 at 12:47am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML
by misfitunfit / 11/10/2015 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 1:15am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for moving into our first house. She escaped her cage and bit through the electrical wires, cutting out all our power and electrocuting and killing herself. FML
by bluebelle / 10/19/2015 at 7:10am / Australia / Animals
Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…